Kaino mad, Kaino smash. Or writes a rant.

Why, why, why does this always happen when I'm having my photo taken; I've done my hair and make-up for at least an hour and spent most of the morning trying to come up with a nice coord, the lighting's perfect and everything's awesome so I make a carefully calculated pose to bring out my best qualities and think that the above pic is how I'll look like...

...but actually this is me. DX

Seriously. Seriously. This happens so often and no matter the photographer that  I cannot blame outside forces. My hair will be limp and ratty no matter what. I washed it yesterday evening, curled it in the morning, teased it in place and used enough but not too much hairspray AND THIS IS WHAT I'LL GET? Shiny face too, bitch I just applied powder! Spots - FFFFUUUUUU I'M TOO OLD TO EVEN HAVE THEM FFFUUUUUUU. Maybe the worst is still the facial expression, since there's absolutely nothing I can no about it even when trying to save what I can by wanton shoppery. No matter how hard I try I have either a derp-face or an "I'll-spank-you-with-a-hairbrush" -face, no variations. 

What about the full-body shots then? Pose pose pose, but in the end I'll still look like someone stuffed a hanger in my dress and hung me from an invisible hook. Or failing that it'll be the feared Kaino-pose even when I make a conscious effort to avoid it. :þ 

The colours will never be right either and demand endless tweaking with levels and curves. Naturally I'm usually a bit blurry too. 

But wait, there is an exception to this rule, photos that always come out sharp, with nice light and colours...

...yeah.

Naturally my friends come up like this in every single photo of them. DAMMIT K WHY SO PHOTOGENIC?