Sunday, 30 November 2014

If I were a god - the best meme ever!

"If I Were A God..." -challenge!

Rules are as follows:

1. Tag back to the person who tagged you.
2. Answer the questions.
3. Add a question if you come up with a good one.
4. Challenge five other bloggers.

Long story short, since that 11 questions challenge has done the rounds for years now and everyone and their gerbils have done it, HajaMiel at Written Before Dawn came up with a new one and it's made of beauty.

Here are the questions:

1. The global warming thingy will kill lots of stuff. You get to save one species and have to kill another. Which ones and why?

I save humans, for the selfish reason that once upon a time I was one myself and there's still plenty of great people back there humaning along following me. As for killing off a species... hrrnnnnn a tough one. I'd probably just blindly point at some random amoeba for fear of choosing wrong, and in the end I'd realize it was thanks to that specific type of amoeba alone that the Earth was still livable BUT NOW IT'S ALL RUINED BECAUSE OF GOD.

2. Ok, since you are playing god, make a prayer your worshipers would have to pray every evening.

"Good night, Kaino-god
Great are all your cakes,
Pastries, buns and pies,
Popsicles and bakes.

Now send me a puffin."

3. Nice and poetic that one. Now, any sacraments you would want to have?

I'm not gonna be a Christian type of a god so there'll be no sacraments per se, but I'll accept tea parties held in my name as a godly connection to me. May your cup ever be filled to the brim with the tastiest tea!

4. I like this theme. Three annual ceremonies that would be held to celebrate you?

Ooooh! I'm going to take over Bobmas, which will then be called Kainomas instead. The purpose of Kainomas is to eat, eat, eat and be generally nice to everyone around you. The next celebration I want is 1st of May/Vappu, during which I'd like some bonfires, sparkling drinks and lots of eating, renamed Kainoborg. Being generally nice to everyone is also a theme of Kainoborg. For the third I want a harvest festival, at whichever time people feel like they should have one. It will consist of eating lots of yummy foods and generally being nice to other people and will be called All Hail the Puffin.

5. Just in case you become a god, what sacrifices we mortals should offer for you for a good weather and such benefits?

I don't do weather. I'm strictly a god of food and the occasional puffin. I do appreciate good cakes, yummy foods of all types and many kinds of beverages. However, I'm also a god of vanity so anything sparkly, pretty and shiny will also be received with a promise of plentiful meals in return!

6. Since there are the five of you playing gods, check each others blogs and tell us what kind of gods you think the others would be like according to their blogs.

Namuless: clearly the god of fangirls everywhere. Serving her well will guarantee you a place in the front row, that special item that's only been made one batch for one VIP expo, and rest assured your favourite member will see just you among the crowd and propose to you immediately! But do not ever call the wrath of Namuless upon you or it'll rain on you while you queue and Kyo? will show his open disappointment at your conduct.

Tinde: the god of soap bubble guns. Her followers are known for their multicoloured hair with which they try to emulate the multitude of colours that she makes, of their habit of poking at seemingly nothing and of the faint smell of dish washing liquid wafting from their general direction. If you please her she will let it always rain soap bubbles all around you wherever you go! If you displease her there'll never be soap bubbles for you! Ever! EVER!!!

Praying for a soap bubble rain.
Pinkishpixiedust: the god of Disney tattoos and a bit of a trickster god type. Please her and your tattoo will be misspelled. Displease her and your tattooist will be so drunk you'll run for the woods instead of having that tat. Yet years after when you're stuck in a tiny rowing boat in the middle of Atlantic the misspelling of your tattoo will actually turn out to be a teleporting device and your faith in her is greatly repaid!

PS: only works if you're getting a Disney tattoo. Else it'll just be a misspelled tat.

Giko: I'm not entirely sure but I feel like this one's a god of entertainment. She's special in that her love and hate strike everyone the same - and usually simultaneously, when she decides it's time to kill off another dearly beloved character of SNK. Serving her doesn't hurt either, and her followers are known to both quickly rebound from heartbreak over an anime character and calm down from rage-quit mode a little bit faster than common people.

7. With which god of the other four would you most likely ally yourself with if needed?

I'm the god of food. I rule over everyone MUHAHAHAHAH- okay no actually Tinde, because eternal rain of soap bubbles is the highest dream anyone could have, and one which a god of food can never grant anyone.

8. Since there are five to choose from to worship, why would your supporters choose you?

Ma-ca-rons. Te-a. Coffeeeeee. Wine, in case it's to your tastes! Look at that cute puffin, oh no it's actually a cupcake in shape of a puffin! Cakesssss... ooooh do you smell that it's your favourite food, how'd you like a bathtub full of candy?

9. Tempting! What rules should the followers of your cult follow?

To be generally nice to other people. That's it, that's all, I'm the hardest god to please.

10. How would you end the World when the time comes? Your take on the apocalypse?

Nobody would even notice it. Everyone would just go on living as usual without knowing they died and went to the afterlife I offer.

As for the world, I'd just eat it.

Ending the world one waffle at a time.
11. Ok, the World is ending, what will you offer as the after life?

A world just like this one but with all the problems removed. Also that asshole would realize they'd been mean to you and would apologize.

I shall now tag the following: Caramea, Rinna, Mimmi, Asio Otus and Elfie!


  1. Voi mikä meemi! Nauroin jo vedet silmissä Caramean jumalisille voimille, ja nyt olen aivan hervoton. Minun seuraajani saavat palkinnoksi uskollisuudestaan kyvyn löytää ihmeellisesti jokaisesta surkeastakin kirpputorin alelootasta hämmästyttävän antiikkiaarteen, mutta vain jos he pitävät itsensä minulle puhtaina pukeutumalla yksinomaan parhaaseen pitsiin. Vitsauksena lähetän turkiskuoriaisia väärintekijöiden vaatekaappeihin, ja tahroja kaikkien paitojen etumuksiin.

    1. Olen vakuutettu, rakennan Rinna-alttarin!

  2. Ihihihih tää ol ihana! Mutta en varmaan jaksa tehdä tätä ite.... kiitti kuitenkin haastamisesta!

    1. Nou hätä. Sitäpaitsi meemi ei vanhene, eli jos joskus tulevaisuudessa tulee jumalafiilis niin sitten. :D

  3. Eläisinpä Kainojumalan maailmassa! :)