16. Best Lolita fashion advice you can give to anyone:

Don't listen too much to what people say. This does not mean turning a deaf ear to all advice and constructive criticism, but feel free to ignore people whose opinion is on the lines of "lolita MUST always be/have/include" and "lolita CAN NOT EVER be/have/include". Number one, those opinions don't really have anything to do with fashion because fashion is people wearing something unexpected which then for some reason gains followers (my teacher made an interesting point: whatever's popular at any moment is no longer fashion - fashion is the pinpoint of people coming up with it and therefore over when others start mimicking it). Number two, those people are usually trolls anyway.

Me in 2003 or 2004, can't remember. Credits for photomanip go to Damien.

I've been into lolita fashion since 2003 when I first saw it on my visit to my friend who lives is Tokyo. I quickly joined egl on LJ, which back then was a tiny community, and over the years f.ex. these points have been brought up:

- You can´t be loli if you're black/male/over 20.
- If a Japanese lolita does it it's automatically correct for lolita.
- A skirt must be knee-length, shorter is whorish and longer is automatically aristo, since the definition of aristo is in the length of hem.
- All piercings are NO. Except the ones on your ears. Unless you have more than one per ear, that is.
- Brown is not a suitable colour for lolita. It's especially wrong if it's combined with pink or yellow.
- Glasses are not lolita either.
- Lolita must always wear a wig/fake lashes/cupcake-poofy petticoats/bloomers.
- Lolita's shoes must colour-match the dress.

...yeeeaaaaaahhhh how about no. Looking back on these topics it's difficult to imagine people being all up in arms about glasses, for example, but it did happen and would have been hilarious if it hadn't been so sad. Some of that E(lderly) G(othic) L(olita) -hatin' was popular in the lolisecrets for a few weeks now but back when I begun dressing up I was apologizing left and right for being, le gasp, 24. In comparison, someone making a hatesecret is somewhat lame. Us aunties are old war horses now and your plight at seeing us matters for a shake of tail.

[insert shake]

However, helpful criticism is worth buckets of gold and hand-made chocolate. It means the person saw what you wanted to do and wants to help you get there (as opposed to beating you up until you go away). If someone's suggesting you a fuller petti or something for your hair, at least consider their advice. Could be they didn't realize your goals right - maybe you were actually striving for, say, narrower silhouette. Could also be that you thought it wouldn't matter that the silhouette was flat. In case A thank them kindly for their trouble, in case B do the same and get that petti. Acknowledging people's goodwill does not mean admitting any kind of defeat, quite the contrary, and bettering your sense of style... well, isn't that the reason you're interested in fashion in the first place?

The first lolitas I ever saw.